Charge of the Potty Brigade

As a mom you come to realize if it's not nailed down or bolted to the wall....it can be flushed! That's what my three year old and his little sister has taught me during this whole potty training phase. It is nice when they can go to the bathroom by themselves but it is not safe to presume that they can handle everything by themselves.

Tonight my toddler proved that is just the case. Steve, my husband, went to go check on Mason when we couldn't hear any noises coming from his room which only means one thing, something is about to go terribly wrong. Mason took it upon himself to go alone to the bathroom without notifying anyone. He's being a big boy right? Normally I like to keep the toilet paper out of reach when he is in the bathroom because it usually ends up all over the floor, but tonight, tonight was different. Instead of mounds and mounds of toilet paper on the floor, it was in the toilet. Needless to say I let Steve handle this one on his own!

But as I said this is not the only incident. One morning I had taken Mason to the bathroom and was trying to keep his younger sister out. So we left (toilet paper out of reach at this point) to give him so privacy...only she had sneaked back into the bathroom (or at least tried). I heard the door opening and when I went to retrieve her I had to retrieve more than I bargained for...at the bottom of the toilet sat the pink toy phone she had been carrying that morning, and if I could have flushed it I would for that wasn't the only thing in the potty.

The last incident that really takes the cake was when I had taken Mason to the bathroom and he didn't want to leave the potty so I thought okay he's not done. So I leave to tend to Chloe when I hear a lot of flushing going on. Great he's playing with the toilet again I thought (he does like to flush a lot) so I go back to get on to him. I walk in to find him standing in the toilet flushing himself! It's bad enough that you catch them sometimes playing in the potty but actually standing in it! Ugh.

The Call of the Heels

When growing up there are certain milestones that a girl achieves along her way to becoming a lady.... such as curling hair, applying makeup, and learning how to walk in high heels.

I had my first pair of heels when I attended my first high school dance (that's right I said high school). As a kid I was too much of a tom boy to want all that dress up stuff for little girls....how was I to know that those items were not toys but training tools disguised in glitter and bows. I remember getting the shoes the week before so I could master them before hand. Picture it, a tall skinny girl on chicken legs trying to maneuver down the hallway, walking stiffly trying to keep my face from the collision course it was on with the floor.

Needless to say I was able to remain on my feet and now I am the proud owner of two pairs of high heels. I still occasionally get the slip going on or the little wobble when the heel goes down wrong, but hey I'm only semi-pro.

Now here is where the story turns embarrassing....isn't it already, you ask? My daughter is now a year and a half. She is a very prissy type of girl and I can tell with her it's going to be all about barbies, clothes, purses, makeup and shoes. She's already asking to wear my lip gloss and when I'm putting on makeup she is right there asking for some. Of course the only thing she gets is a little Burt's bees on the lips and a swipe of my makeup brush across her cheeks. She's always walking around in her dad's shoes because like any man he leaves his things everywhere in the house. Seriously you wouldn't believe how many pairs of shoes I pick up in a day...but I digress.

One day my daughter went into my closet and discovered a sparkling pair of shoes in the floor. I was in the living room and heard the clunk, clunk, clunk coming down the hallway. I looked up to see she had on my strappy high heels, and was doing a damn good job maneuvering in them. I think "Aw my little girl is so cute". It only took her walking all the way to me to realize she walked better in heels than I did! What took me years to achieve she did it in a few minutes...and the shoes didn't even fit! Now my daughter is the proud owner of six (yes six) pairs of sparkling Disney princess heels.

The Taming of the Grill

Grilling...a skill many have and one that I would like to acquire. That's what I had set out to do tonight. Although it really wasn't my idea to grill; I was talked into it by my husband as he left me alone at home to go and get supplies from the store.

So here I am outside, alone armed with bratwurts and a grill. The first thing I do is fire up the grill. Easier said than done. I turn the knobs only to hear the whooshing sound of propane and no sparks of fire. I turn off the grill and try again. I guess I should have waited a few minutes before trying to relight because of the instant flames that leaped from the sleeping beast. I jump back in horror, eyebrows slightly singed but hey at least now I can cook right?

I give a small thanks to God that we live just down the street from the fire department as I begin to put the brats on to burn...I mean cook! I can just picture it now the neighborhood consumed by a five alarm fire all because a flaming brat got away from me. But I digress.

How long does it take to cook a brat? I had it pretty well charred by the time I decided to remove it from the grill, but when I cut through the leathery skin it revealed to be slightly undercooked. Well I know when it's time to call it quits and order pizza. I have decided to try grilling again in the near future, but I think I will make a few changes: 1. Grilling requires a beer in hand, at least that's how I've seen all the pros do it, and 2. Try grilling steak, at least if it's charred on the outside and raw/pink on the inside they at least still call that edible.